We have this big house that I am just starting to get used to. I loved it from the moment I saw it, and yet loving it doesn’t make me fit into it yet. Rooms and spaces and staircases, bookshelves, stone basement, acres of trees and meadow, the river across the road, vistas of mountains and woods. It is paradise and I don’t know how I earned it, and then I realize that of course I deserve this. Partly because I’ve had a rough life up until this mid-way point? Partly because fate is capricious? I had a dream this afternoon where John and were to part and meet again in Addis Abba (sp?). I wasn’t sure, or he wasn’t, that we could meet up again, that the logistics would work, but I knew that I would get there with my angel’s wings and strength and we would be together again, doing good in the world. I woke up feeling very happy and peaceful.