Cairn on the Au Sable River in Upper Jay, NY by Martha and John Spear, June 21, 2004
Friday, June 25, 2004
Monday, June 14, 2004
Yesterday afternoon I arrived at a yard sale, and a woman who was leaving called out to me, "Get ready to Jew!"
I was startled--wasn't sure if I'd heard her correctly. "Sorry?" I said over the roof of my car.
"Get ready to Jew her down!" said the woman with no lessening of friendliness or volume, gesturing toward the barn where the sale was being held.
I know what that phrase means but have never actually heard it used except when I was being educated about how some terms are offensive and why not to say them. While smiling at my fellow shopper and thinking ahead to the cheap bounties awaiting, I also wanted to respond appropriately to this stunner of language. I could be strident, I could distinguish myself as an outsider, I could lie and say, "I'm a Jew!" or I could be respectful and gentle. I chose the latter.
"Huh. What does that mean?" I asked, shutting the car door and coming around to the driveway. It was a perfect day--sunny, clear, breezy, warm.
The woman replied, "Oh, you know, she's--the prices are high and she won't..." She was carrying two full plastic bags.
"Ah," I said, as if the lightbulb of comprehension had just lit up over my head. "Bargaining, haggling, negotiating!"
By this time the woman was either in a hurry to depart or annoyed by my probing, or taken aback my human thesaurus behavior, or all three. We parted with bright good wishes and I went on to the sale, which was, in fact, full of great stuff at high prices, and I did, in fact, have to bargain hard to get what I wanted for the price I was willing to pay.
I have been thinking about this exchange ever since. Often my new ADK friends tell me I'm 'urban,' whatever that means. Does this urban-ness include an awareness of ethnic and other slurs based on stereotypes? Maybe it's because I have lived in some of the USA's greatest cities and thus have lived with such wide varieties of people. Maybe it's just because I love words and have developed a heightened sensitivity to language. Maybe it's because I am passionate about social justice and equality for all.
But I thought no less of my fellow shopper because she used the term "Jew her down" when she meant "need to bargain to get a reasonable price." What I thought was that she has had a more limited experience in life than other people I know; perhaps she does not know any Jews, perhaps she has never connected the term with the religion and culture. It is so easy to miss that kind of thing when you're just talking, enjoying the day. For me, it takes practice and discipline to not say offensive things, just because they're woven into my language. It's even worse when I don't know that something is offensive.
What I really wanted out of that afternoon was to have a fun time at yard sales, so I went on and did just that. However, I've been thinking a lot about this exchange and I wonder if I can help be a catalyst to get people thinking and talking about the power (both good and bad) of language.
My dog and I browsed the sale, which was very large, for an hour. I came to the seller with my collection of stuff and she quoted me a figure. I wanted to pay half that and after hemming and hawing, putting a few things back, pointing out a few flaws in merchandise, I came away with what I really wanted and she happily pocketed the dollars I was willing to spend.
I was startled--wasn't sure if I'd heard her correctly. "Sorry?" I said over the roof of my car.
"Get ready to Jew her down!" said the woman with no lessening of friendliness or volume, gesturing toward the barn where the sale was being held.
I know what that phrase means but have never actually heard it used except when I was being educated about how some terms are offensive and why not to say them. While smiling at my fellow shopper and thinking ahead to the cheap bounties awaiting, I also wanted to respond appropriately to this stunner of language. I could be strident, I could distinguish myself as an outsider, I could lie and say, "I'm a Jew!" or I could be respectful and gentle. I chose the latter.
"Huh. What does that mean?" I asked, shutting the car door and coming around to the driveway. It was a perfect day--sunny, clear, breezy, warm.
The woman replied, "Oh, you know, she's--the prices are high and she won't..." She was carrying two full plastic bags.
"Ah," I said, as if the lightbulb of comprehension had just lit up over my head. "Bargaining, haggling, negotiating!"
By this time the woman was either in a hurry to depart or annoyed by my probing, or taken aback my human thesaurus behavior, or all three. We parted with bright good wishes and I went on to the sale, which was, in fact, full of great stuff at high prices, and I did, in fact, have to bargain hard to get what I wanted for the price I was willing to pay.
I have been thinking about this exchange ever since. Often my new ADK friends tell me I'm 'urban,' whatever that means. Does this urban-ness include an awareness of ethnic and other slurs based on stereotypes? Maybe it's because I have lived in some of the USA's greatest cities and thus have lived with such wide varieties of people. Maybe it's just because I love words and have developed a heightened sensitivity to language. Maybe it's because I am passionate about social justice and equality for all.
But I thought no less of my fellow shopper because she used the term "Jew her down" when she meant "need to bargain to get a reasonable price." What I thought was that she has had a more limited experience in life than other people I know; perhaps she does not know any Jews, perhaps she has never connected the term with the religion and culture. It is so easy to miss that kind of thing when you're just talking, enjoying the day. For me, it takes practice and discipline to not say offensive things, just because they're woven into my language. It's even worse when I don't know that something is offensive.
What I really wanted out of that afternoon was to have a fun time at yard sales, so I went on and did just that. However, I've been thinking a lot about this exchange and I wonder if I can help be a catalyst to get people thinking and talking about the power (both good and bad) of language.
My dog and I browsed the sale, which was very large, for an hour. I came to the seller with my collection of stuff and she quoted me a figure. I wanted to pay half that and after hemming and hawing, putting a few things back, pointing out a few flaws in merchandise, I came away with what I really wanted and she happily pocketed the dollars I was willing to spend.
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